Saturday, April 28, 2012

Book review: Country Mouse by Amy Lane and Aleksandr Voinov

Country MouseCountry Mouse by Amy Lane


Boy, I tell ya, it took me a bit of time to get around to reading this one. No, unlike other reviewers, I did not have any hesitation because Country Mouse was written by two authors (Amy Lane and Aleksandr Voinov) with two different writing styles, that may or may not mesh. No, it was simply the title: Country Mouse. Because... at the time Riptide Publishing requested a review, I was up to my ass mice. Those fucking critters had invaded my home-- my bedroom, bath and kitchen, and I didn't want to read anything referencing mice-- metaphorically or otherwise! I'm even starting to blame one half of this writing team for my recent adventures in pest control-- I got scorpions galore in my house when I started reading Voinov's Scorpion a few months back. Yes, I think I see a pesky pest pattern here.

Luckily for the authors, I got rid of my mouse problem (took 5 different types of traps to catch those smarty-pants fuckers) and could go on and read this story. Ah, how refreshing! I really liked this story, in spite of the memories the title conjured up (the cover is cute and very a propos,too).

Everybody and their greasy grannies have already synopsed and reviewed this one to death, so I'll just move on to a couple of comments. Rodents aside, I have been pretty preoccupied with other things lately-- so much so that it seemed in the first bit like Owen and Malcom (well, Malcom, mostly), were speaking in a coded language that only the two of them could understand. I was surprised that Owen, being an American and all, caught on so quickly to Malcom's "drift" in the bar where they initially hook up. Maybe it's that I don't really "get" hook up culture-- I have never been good at approaching people in bars and letting them entice me into following them home. But Owen certainly got it *cough cough*

I really like how Owen turns the tables on the bristly, British Malcom (Yay, Yanks!). I really had no expectation that Owen would in any way take the reins in this brief relationship cum one-night-stand, especially given his gentle, forgiving nature. But there was a great deal more to Owen, and I totally fell in love with the way he patiently works things out with Malcom. Oh, and Malcom's flabbergastedness and willingness to be vulnerable just endeared him to me even more.

I'm usually not overly fond of short-encounter love stories, but this one works. It's level-headed, but still takes chances. The sex is hot and kinky, as expected from these authors, but doesn't overwhelm the story. The ending is sweet, so hold-your-breath sweet, but has just the right hint of tartness to balance it out. Dammit, Amy and Aleks-- I want more of these two. I want more of you two together as writers, as you seamlessly knit Country Mouse into a fine story.

Just watch it with the book titles, Aleks-- no "Playing 'Possum" or "Night of the Wolf Spider" nonsense in the future, please.

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Friday, April 27, 2012

Book Review: Josh of the Damned Triple Feature #1 by Andrea Speed

Josh of the Damned Triple Feature #1 (Josh of the Damned, #3)Josh of the Damned Triple Feature #1 by Andrea Speed

Bitch Factor 10 rating: Photobucket
In this third trip to the Josh of the Damned series pond, we have a triple feature. Yay! I really like the B-movie vibe of this book's cover-- and its stories. We are treated to three separate tales here, all smacking of that quirky Andrea Speed humor. I like...I like!

The first story is Night of the Mustache. Really, I don't need to tell you much more about that particular story than its hairy title. It is weird and amusingly entertaining, but I'm not sure how this one fits in with the overall story arc-- but maybe it's just meant as an intermission. In any case, there's finally a little more "action" between Josh and Colin-- if only Josh could remember it. Doh!

The second story, I was Cthulhu's Love Slave, has a little more umph to it than NotM. The JotD world is nothing but surreal, so I never can figure out how much time has transpired between stories, but in this one we know it's Xmas and Josh is pulling a night shift at the Quik-Mart. This time out, we do learn a bit more about Josh's life-- or rather, his lack, thereof. We even get more of the mysterious employer, Mr. Kwon. I'm not entirely sure why a Red Lobster menu item drops by to harass Josh, but I sure hope Stan, THE Cthulhu's relative, makes a future appearance because that would increase the possibility of tentacle sex. One can never have enough of that, right? Ok, well, maybe not. But Bobo the Yeti is back, and he's still just as irresistible as he was in book two, Peekaboo.

The last of this triple-feature is Interview with the Empire. In this one, we get a bit more 411 on Colin, the knight to Josh's damsel-in-distress. He's got his own place on the other side of the hell portal, and a boss, to boot! Colin has been a fairly innocuous boyfriend up until this point, but it seems Josh has even more reason to have doubts about his lover, once he has a better look at Colin's world. We'll have to stay tuned to figure what's brewing with these boys and the nefarious Quik-Mart upper management.

Josh of the Damned Triple Feature is a fluffy, paranormal ride but that don't bother me none. Snark and pop culture references always work for me, so I'm committed to JotD till the very end. Speed is dishing out this story in tiny nibbles (this one admittedly larger than the 1st two books), and I'm sure that doesn't work for some readers, but I have always been a fan of serials, so I don't mind. I recommend this volume, and the previous ones, to those that like a goofy B-movie or comic book feel to their paranormals. As a matter-of-fact, I would love for this series to get the graphic novel treatment. I love getting to know more about the boys and new characters, and I'm so looking forward to further installments.

ps. More Bobo, please!

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Thursday, April 26, 2012

A little quip re: My future employment prospects

Man, if I don't start earning more money soon to pay-off my student loans Ima gonna have to look into the Colombian Prostitution opportunity. I'm a little smarter than some of those current-events bitches because I take credit cards and require payment up front. Don't know if I'd be offering a US government employee discount, though.

Book review: Alien Rule by Tracy St. John

Alien Rule (Clans of Kalquor, #2)Alien Rule by Tracy St. John

Bitch Factor 10 rating:

It took many moons for me to get a copy of Alien Rule to review. Sure, I could have gotten it into my hot little hands sooner if I had bought a copy, but after reading the first book in this series, Alien Embrace (here's my review of that one:, I thought I would just borrow the sequel.

Alien Rule has much in common with its predecessor. We are still in the universe of the Clans of Kalquor. The Kalquorians are still diplomatically warring with the theocratic denizens of Earth, and we have a band of ex-pat Earthers that have been marooned on planet Plasius, where all the inhabitants are sex-crazed (why couldn't *I* have been dropped off on a planet like that instead of being stuck here? My alien parentals must have left me here on Earth as punishment, hrmph!)

This story follows Nurse Jessica, and her intersex friend Michaela as they try to find Kalquorian clans that will take them in and make them brood, make them "honored Mataras." Because, you know, it's every girl's dream to hook up with a triad of double-donged aliens that will impregnate them with their alien seed. And I'm slightly confused about how well Michaela would have worked out as a child-bearer for a prospective clan-- does she have a viable womb? Anyway, this story is mostly about Jessica and her boys, so I'll touch on Michaela's situation a bit later.

I don't know-- I never took to Jessica in this story, mainly because she is wishy-washy when it comes to the "rapey" scenes in this book. "No means no!" may the hue and cry of women on Earth, but on Plasius, as far as Jessica is concerned, "No means, 'well, yeah, go ahead and disregard what I say, because I really like being penetrated in all my orifices at once, virgin that I am.'" UGH! Not to discount that there are women who out there who have rape fantasies and love reading "romances," that make use of that trope, but argh! this book leans more towards actual rape than dubious consent or fantasy.

My inclination is to be a little more forgiving of Jessica the Virginal because she may be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome or feel rebellious against the puritanicalism of Earth. But Jessica is so hypocritical in this story, that I can't really give her a pass. When Jessica encounters another Earther refugee she excuses taking up with the aliens by saying, "I found it inappropriate to shelter on the transport among men (her fellow Earthers) I do not know the intentions of." Right? It couldn't possibly be that you passed up your own kind so that your mouth, pussy and ass could be repeatedly stuffed by the Three Musketeers, could it? The bitch doth protest too much!

Jessica is bad enough, but potential lover Clajak (hate that name, btw)takes the cake. Clajak is a grade-A asshole, through and through. Throughout most of the book, he does not take responsibility for his actions-- not as an heir to the Klaquorian throne, and not as a suitable love interest in the triad that wants to "woo" Jessica. Dewd can not control himself, of course:

Your sex (Jessica's) yields to penetration yet clings to mine with such a grip that I must fight for control every moment."

Poor, poor Clajak. He's a (willing) slave to the coochie. Jessica just has a pussy that forces Clajak to misbehave. And, scarily, he goes easy on forcing himself on Jessica because "it was a shame she was too small to fuck properly." *shiver* Thank Goddess Jessica is muy pequeno or that lovemaking could have turned all kinds of nasty (or nastier...). Yes, it all Jessica's fault-- she is preventing Clajak from being nice to her, and therefore he has to go all rapist to get her to submit.

Clajak isn't the only douche in this equation-- his clanmates Egilka and Bevau agree with Clajak that they can and should "resort to coercion and punishment," as effective dating tools to win over Jessica. You know, just in case the penis-times-two-times-three action doesn't work.

As if the rape theme was not enough for Jessica and Crew, there are other instances of dub-con in the story. I don't want to be too spoilery, but Tracy St. John seems to have a fascination with younger girls being raped. Even though Jessica is an adult, she is often referred to in girlish terms. And I think substituting an under-aged "alien" for a "human girl," in another scene is a thinly veiled and despicable ruse to use the violation of a child for erotic entertainment.

Anyhoo, you can guess how this all ends up-- Jessica learns to love the triad; the boys don't have to resort so much to rape to express their love for Jessica after she finally gives in to them. yada yada yada. There's nothing unexpected here about how things turn out for Jessica and posse. What is surprising is that there is so much growling when characters are aroused or having sex (to be fair, the Kalquorians seem to growl at other instances, too, like when they are showing disapproval of political leaders). I'd guess that there are at least 50 instances of growling with the boys-- and even Jessica starts doing it! I've been doing this sex thing for some 30+ years now, but I haven't encountered all that much growling. I must be doing it all wrong-- like, with humans, to start, hehehe. The repetition of certain words and phrases was driving me batty in this story, as was the repeated fuckings. Hey, I thought there were more possible variations of having four people have sex with six penises, four asses and one vagina between them-- but apparently, no, it's the same ole, same ole.

Ok, I didn't absolutely hate this book. I kinda knew what I was getting into since I read the first one in the series. I do like that bellydancing figures into the story, since that's one of my hobbies. And, Michaela's intersexualism adds interest to the story, but I couldn't help but cringe at how self-hating she was throughout most of the story. Michaela's lack of self-worth is somewhat understandable, given Earth's non-acceptance of intersexuals, but Michaela's constant moments of insecurity started to make me share that opinion of her. She almost had ME convinced of her worthlessness. I wouldn't mind Michaela having her story in the series, because I'd like to know how she works out with her clan (hmmm, what happens when there are SEVEN penises, instead of six...).

Ok, enough blathering about this book. Bottom line: this book entertains the notions of rape and dubious consent far too often to be enjoyable. Fans of the series, though, probably wouldn't shy away from this one. Everyone else, though, could (and probably should) give it a pass.

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Friday, April 13, 2012

Random shit: A little quip re:stay-at-home moms

I was a stay-at-home mom. I had four sons that I homeschooled, and I thought it best to put my career plans on hold so that I could see them off to the best start in life. I don't know how we made it on one measly paycheck, but we sacrificed what we could and we made it work. All the boys are successful adults now, so it was well worth it.

One thing, though-- it's hard to justify being a stay-at-home mom once the kids are all grown up. Believe me, I've tried. hehehe!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Random shit: A little quip re:George Zimmerman

George Zimmerman's website alone should serve to tell us everything we need to know about his mental state. Luckily, he won't be standing trial for bad web design.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Book review: Oral Expressions by Ann Campell

FYI: The author provided me a copy for review, but this bitch is solely responsible for the content of the review.

Trey and his friends are awfully considerate when they stage a bachelor party for their friend, Richard.  Trey even opened his home to the revelers, and friend Paul has arranged an hour with a phone sex operator. (Now that is an interesting choice for the groom's gift-- I like it!)
When the groom chickens out of making the call to the phone sex girl, nice-guy  Trey doesn't let the opportunity go to waste. He calls the girl himself, to at least give her a few minutes of time, so that she isn't out of all the money from the groom's bailout. But instead of a few minutes,  the silky voice entices Trey to stay on  the phone far longer than he intended.

"Belle" knows all the right things to say to get a guy riled up-- it's her job. Well, not her day job, but a second job that helps take her mind off of other things, like a hot guy at work. "Belle" pops Trey's phone-sex cherry, but that's only the beginning of the "oral expressions" for these two.

You'll have to pick up this very spicy short to find out the rest for yourself.

This may be somewhat familiar territory, but Ann Campbell has written a fast, flirty, sizzling tale that does not fail to deliver the "yum."

Random bits: This short is 36 pages long. Nice cover!
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